Fitting in
by sugarandspicexx
Summary: When Jessi decides to ditch Mallory, just what lengths will Mallory go to so she can fit in with the most popular girls in school? And just why are they being so nice to Mallory anyway?
1. Chapter 1

I throw open the front door and bolt up stairs into my bedroom. My sister Margo is walking down them at the same time and I nearly knock her over, but I don't care. "What's wrong with Mallory?" I overhear her ask mom confused. I don't hear the response. I'm already in my room trying putting on my contact lenses for the first time. I throw my ugly, thick, large framed glasses that I've had for as long as I can remember over my shoulder, they land on Vanessa's bed, she hasn't looked up from her book since I walked in.

I struggle a bit to put them in and I blink a lot once they're in. I'm not used to the sensation. Once my vision clears I focus on my reflection in the mirror and I just can't get the smile off my face. Vanessa finally looks up, she picks up my glasses and looks at my reflection in the mirror. She gasps with surprise "You got them today? Why didn't you tell me earlier!" "I guess I wanted to surprise everyone". I reply with a smile.

This is the beginning of the whole new Mallory Pike. I just had my braces off a month ago, and now I've finally said good bye to my glasses. I just can't wait to go back to school next week. 10th Grade is going to be so much better than 9th, I just know it. No more feeling like crap, I'll look good and I'll feel good.

I couldn't wait to show them off to Jessi, but she's got dance class this afternoon, I'd have to wait until tomorrow when we're meeting up at the mall for lunch. If anyone's understood how much I hated having to wear glasses, it's Jessi. For years she has listened to my complaints and reassured me when I put myself down. It's not like I never returned the favour though, when the Ramsey family first moved here from New Jersey, the rest of the town wasn't exactly accepting and Jessi spent a lot of time wondering why she wasn't good enough. We'd always been there for each other.

Coming from a family where you're the oldest of no less than 8 children, there was always a new problem arising in this household. It's one extreme to the other, you either feel so smothered by the presence of your siblings, or so isolated from the lack of attention from your parents as there just isn't enough time in the day sometimes.

This was to be my second year at Stoneybrook High, I returned from boarding school in Massachusetts at the end of Eighth grade. I guess I was just too homesick and that made me unmotivated about my studies. I wasn't happy there so my parents and teachers agreed it was best if I just went home. There were a lot of things I also didn't miss. I had a lot of unfriendly classmates in middle school, most of them still went to SHS. Fortunately, a lot of people have matured since then. But others still had a way of making me feel inadequate. Especially the pretty girls like Maria Fazio, Mara Semple, Liz Cohen and Jamie Sperling.

Jessi is still pretty much the only friend I have in my year. I'm still friendly with a few girls who I used to babysit with when I was in 6th grade, they're all going into senior year and our friendships are no where near as close as before. Stacey still lives in the house behind ours. Sometimes she gives me a lift if she sees me walking to school. We don't have much in common anymore, in a lot of ways I envy her more than the girls in my own year. Stacey has never had a problem with boys or feeling ugly one day in her life. Nor has she ever had to compete for her mothers attention. She's an only child of divorced parents. Maybe I should just be thankful my parents have stayed together, Stacey has been through a lot even if the rest of her does appear perfect from the outside.


	2. Chapter 2

The rest of the final week of the summer goes much quicker than I expected. I don't get to see Jessi though, she doesn't show up at the mall for lunch and when I go over to her house late that afternoon to see if everything's ok, her sister Becca tells me she's out shopping with their mother.

I was really shocked she stood me up today, I haven't seen her in over a week, since her family returned home from their trip to their old town in New Jersey.

The morning of the first day of school I am awoken by Vanessa shrieking at me to get out of bed. I look at the clock, it's 8.10. I can't believe I've overslept on the first day back! Quickly, I throw on my new pair of black jeans and a white thick sleeved singlet. I look in the mirror. I look so much better than I used to already, but I'm still a long way from satisfied. My hair is still so thick and unruly. I pull it back off my face into a high pony tail and decide to try and forget about it.

By the time my triplet brothers Jordan, Byron and Adam and I walk out the door, we're officially running late. Mom orders us into her station wagon and she appears frustrated. "I didn't want you boys to be late for your first day of high school". She scolds them, really it wasn't there fault I made the others late waiting for my turn in the bathroom.

We finally pull into SHS and bolt off in separate directions. I approach my locker and take out the books to my first class, I have English. I feel a tap on my shoulder and turn around. It's Jessi. She's looking a fair bit thinner than the last time I saw her, her shoulder blades stick out of her spaghetti strapped tank top. As I turn to face her I don't know if I'm more shocked to see _her _or to see how different she looks. "Mallory, your glasses! They really are.. gone!" She shrieks pointing to my face. I forgot I'm not the only one who looks different. I want to ask her why she stood me up and didn't try to contact me, but I decide to let it slip. We spend a few minutes discussing which classes we have, it turns out we only have one class together this whole semester, and that's math. We're both really disappointed, last year we had most of our classes together.

The bell rings and we're on our way to separate classes. I arrive at the room for my English class and on the way in, I stop to consider my seating choices. There's only 2 empty seats left, one next to Craig Avazian, I've had a bit of a crush on him for a while, and I'm too nervous to sit next to him. The other is next to Liz Cohen, one of the attractive girls I mentioned earlier that I feel a bit intimidated by. I guess out of all of her group, she's the least intimidating, so I slip into the seat beside her.

She looks over at me with a forced smile "You look great Mallory!" I can't tell if she's mocking me or just buttering me up. Liz isn't the smartest girl and I wouldn't put it past her that she's being nice to me so she can copy my work or partner up with someone on assignments that will do all the work for her. "Thankyou" I reply quickly, without making eye contact with her. "I'm serious! You actually have really pretty eyes under those glasses." Suddenly she seems less forced and kind of sweet.

The class goes by well enough, Liz doesn't try to copy work from me or anything else of the sort. She makes friendly chit chat as we walk to our lockers. Walking towards me is Jessi, she's laughing loudly with Sanjita Batts. Sanjita wears her long jet black hair in thin braids, she also always wears brightly coloured eye make up that stands out on her dark, Puerto Rican skin. She's a loud, obnoxious girl who's always had a soft spot for Jessi, even though Jessi always said she thought Sanjita was a bit eccentric for her liking.

They stop laughing as soon as they catch a glimpse of me, "Hi Mal!" Jessi calls out, waving to me. I smile and wave back. They stop beside me. "Wow Mallory, you look so different now, shame really.. Those glasses suited you!" Sanjita tells me sarcastically, and looks as though she's about to burst out laughing again. Jessi actually _does_ start laughing again, and that's when I just turn away and walk off in disbelief. Jessi and I used to be such good friends. Why has she suddenly started standing me up, and now she's laughing at me with someone she never used to even like?

At lunch time, Jessi isn't sitting at our usual table, she's sitting with Sanjita and her friends Sandra Black, Bobby Gustavson, Lauren Aronsen and Randy Rodemacher. There's no more room left on that table for me. I feel awful and my previous fears are growing. What have I done to Jessi to make her ditch me?

I've been caught in my stunned expression, it's Liz Cohen and her gang. "Mallory! Why are you just standing there? Come and sit with us!" She pleads tapping me on the shoulder as she walks past. Mara Semple and Maria Fazio share a puzzled look and Jamie Sperling looks totally disinterested. I look over at Jessi, laughing her head off again at Sanjita who's screaming across the cafeteria. What choice do I have here?

"Thanks Liz, um.. Hi girls." I greet the rest of the group nervously. "Hi!" replies Mara in the same almost fake tone that Liz had used earlier this morning. "What's to eat today? I'm starved!" shouts Jamie as if she hasn't even realised I'm here. I sit silently eating my salad roll, I feel nervous and out of place with these girls, they're all so pretty and popular. Why on earth was Liz Cohen being nice to me? The rest of the group isn't quite as rotten as I imagined either.

After School I walk home about a ahead of my brothers, they might not be in a rush but I always like to get home as soon as possible. Being the oldest, I seem to have the most chores every afternoon as well as the most homework to complete. When I get home I have a snack, then begin my chores, then homework. I keep myself busy right up until dinner time. After that, there's nothing for me to do but think about what's up with Jessi. I consider calling her then quickly change my mind about 10 times before deciding to catch up with her tomorrow in math and trying to speak to her.


	3. Chapter 3

Second day back, math period right before lunch doesn't go quite as planned. Sanjita is also in our math class and when I arrive, Jessi is already seated an end seat, next to her. I sigh and take a seat up the back next to Justine Moss, she shyly smiles and looks the other direction. During the whole class Sanjita rudely interrupts our teacher Mr Thompson, and Jessi giggles at her ridiculous outbursts. I look over at Justine and roll my eyes. It looks like I won't be speaking to Jessi at lunch either, the two of them have got themselves lunchtime detentions for their rudeness.

When I arrive at my locker, contemplating who I'm going to sit with at lunch, it's already decided for me. Liz Cohen and Maria Fazio are waiting for me at my locker. "What are you doing here?" I ask surprised. "Waiting for you to go to lunch silly!" Liz jokes, lightly slapping my shoulder. "Oh, just a sec.." I throw my books into my locker and off we go.

At the table, Liz has a bit of an odd request for me. "Mallory, this is going to come across weird or whatever.. But we were all talking yesterday about how much better you look these days.. well, no offence hey?" Her lack of tact reminds me of my old friend Kristy Thomas. "Uhh, none taken I guess?" I can't help the confused and slightly annoyed expression on my face, even if she is right. "Well, the point is, we think you have a great deal of potential.. We wanted to help you make your make over complete!"

The thought hadn't entirely occurred to me before. I liked the way I looked now I'd had my braces off and gotten contacts but there was much more room for improvement. I couldn't decide though if these girls truly wanted to help me because they liked me, or if it was some kind of fun 'experiment' for them. Though, what did it matter either way? Jessi seemed to have forgotten me and I had nothing to lose, these girls were going to make me look fabulous, I actually wanted them to help me so much that I dismissed how offended I by the comments, even if I did agree. "Wow, Liz.. That's really generous of you.. I'd love your help." The girls all look genuinely interested.

If anyone can help me look better, it's these 4 girls. Maria Fazio is Italian. She has an hourglass type figure, olive skin, strait shiny jet black hair that reaches her elbows and big dark brown eyes. Jamie Sperling is very tall and thin with wavy shoulder length light brown hair, bright green eyes and the sweetest dimples. Her parents have loads of money and so she's always extremely well dressed in more stylish, sophisticated clothes than the others. Mara Semple is the shortest of the girls, she has long-ish, layered brown hair with blond highlights, dark blue eyes and the nicest fingernails I've ever seen. I'm not sure if they're real or she gets acrylics. She has different polish on them almost every day to match her outfit. She's very attractive, but dresses in clothes that are far more trashy than her friends. I guess that's why she's had so many boyfriends. Liz Cohen has long silky light blond hair, pale blue eyes and freckles on her nose. I'd say her style is cute and sort of preppy, she always looks very pretty.

They decide we will go to the mall after school on Friday to pick out some new clothes and accessories for me, then all stay at Liz's for the night and get to work on Saturday.

Despite every attempt on my behalf, Jessi is still avoiding me. In class and at lunch she sits with her other group of friends and every time I approach them, they all immediately stop talking and stare at me. I've called her house but she's never home. Although, I could sware one time I heard her call out in the back ground "I'm not here, remember?" to her mother. While I'm devastated, things have been ok for me. Liz, Mara, Maria and Jamie have proven to be a nice enough group of girls who keep inviting me to sit with them.

On Friday afternoon, we go to the mall to find some clothes. I remind the girls I don't have a great deal of money, but they encourage me to 'buy just one outfit, for say a party!' were Liz's words. "Would you let us dye your hair Mallory?" asks Jamie, which comes as a surprise because out of everyone, she's seemed the least enthusiastic to "Make-over Mallory". I'd thought of dying my hair a million times, but I'd never thought of actually going through with it. "What colour?" I ask curiously. "Black!" Spurts out Liz and the rest of us give her a confused stare. "Lizzy, she'd look like a goth!" Shouts Maria. The rest of us laugh loudly. "Maybe some sort of brown, would look ok?" I offer. "Perfect!" Jamie smiles and drags me by the hand into the hair products shop.

We settle on a shade of 'medium mahogany brown' and for the clothes the girls choose me a backless white halter neck top, a pair of 3 / 4 length jeans and a pair of shiny red heels. I'm unsure about the choices, the top is very revealing, I can't walk on heels and I'm not sure I have anywhere to wear these clothes, surely I couldn't wear them to school! The girls have all the answers though, "We'll teach you to walk on heels!" and "You will have plenty of opportunities to wear these!"

After the mall on Friday after school, we're back at Liz's house. Most of the conversation is lost on me, all the reminiscing about the great times they shared over the summer and what not.

"You know Mallory, I'll confess something right here". Mara admits suddenly. "You're actually a pretty cool girl once you're away from that Jessi Ramsey, I never understood why you hung around her so much". I always knew Mara had never liked Jessi, Jessi had always said Mara was racist. Jessi assumed anyone who didn't like her was racist though. "What happened between you and her anyway? We're all just dying to know!" Adds Jamie.

I take a deep breath and quickly think of the most tactful yet honest response I can provide. "Well, Jessi and I have been close friends since 6th grade, she was pretty much the only friend in 6th grade I had, all my other friends were in 8th. I thought we'd be best friends forever, but I guess she didn't agree."

They all give me a sympathetic look, but it doesn't stop the questions. "So, anyway Mallory… Got your eye on any boys right about now?" quizzes Jamie. "She totally blushed when Craig Avazian said 'hi' to us in the hallway the other day!" blurts out Liz. I feel myself blushing again, was I really _that_ obvious?

"What is this, an interrogation?" snaps Maria. "God, we're just curious!" Jamie retorts, "We just want to know who we should try to hook her up with tomorrow night!"

"Tomorrow night? What's tomorrow night?" I ask, shocked. No one told me there was anything planned for tomorrow night. "Jamie! It was meant to be a surprise for Mallory!" Liz snaps at Jamie with an icy glare. "Well, she knows now.. So just tell her" Jamie rolls her eyes at Liz. Liz takes a deep breath and sighs. " Ok, there's a bit of a gathering at George Weiss's place tomorrow night.. And we're all going. We thought it'd be a great place to debut the brand new Mallory."

It sounded so fun and different to anything Jessi and I would do on a Saturday night. The rest of the night I lay anxious and excited about tomorrow and tomorrow night, my new found friends and what's really going on with Jessi.


	4. Chapter 4

That Saturday morning my big make over began. The girls put the dye in my hair, plucked my eye brows, painted my nails and put a little fake tan on my legs. I'd gotten a faint tan over the summer, but my legs were still blindingly white.

I wasn't aloud to look in a mirror until we were about to leave for the party they told me. I became more nervous as time went on. Liz straitened my hair with a straitening iron. It took such a long time to iron out all my curls.

Next, it was time to put on my make up. Maria does it for me. I'm not sure what she's doing, but she tells me to shut my eyes a lot. Finally, I put on my outfit and it's time for the big moment. To see what I look like!

I stagger a little on my heels and hold my arms out for balance. When I walk into the living room where the other girls are waiting for me, already dressed to go. They look shocked at the sight of me. I'm just dying to see. "Can I look in a mirror yet?" I inquire nervously. "Of course!" Liz takes me up to her parent's bedroom to look into the full length mirror. I can hardly recognise the reflection staring back at me! My red, frizzy hair is sleek, strait, shiny and brown. It's so much longer straitened.

I look very different with make up on and my clothes make me feel so much older and confidant. I look just like one of the other girls and I love it. I'd spent so much time looking and feeling different. I was just happy to feel like I belonged.

George Weiss's place isn't far from Liz's so we decide to walk. I'm a little slower than the others in my heels and they're hurting my feet just a little bit but I'm too excited to let on to the others. From down the street I can hear the loud music and the sound of teens inside. It doesn't sound like 'just a small gathering'. We don't bother to knock on the front door, we just walk strait in.

A very drunk Lauren Aronsen approaches us in the doorway. "OH my GOD! Hi Girls!" She shrieks. Lauren isn't particularly close to any of us, she's one of Sanjita's friends, I wonder if her and Jessi are here. It's also a worry she seems so obviously drunk. There's alcohol at this party? Are George's parents even here? " Who's your friend?" She asks, dumbfounded pointing at me. "That's Mallory Pike you moron!" Mara shouts at her and shoves her out of the way and we walk into the kitchen. I overhear Lauren argue out loud that I look nothing like Mallory Pike. I smile to myself, knowing that she's right.

The girls go and help themselves to drinks. I'm handed a plastic cup of punch by Liz. "What's in it?" I ask, sniffing it. It's definitely alcoholic. Liz & Maria have them too, Mara and Jamie have beer. "God knows!" Laughs Liz, taking a large mouthful. I guess one can't hurt? I take a sip, it's very sweet and doesn't taste bad at all. I'd never thought of myself drinking at all at this age, but what could go wrong?

The night goes on and the party gets louder and the guests get drunker. Jamie ends up going up stairs with John Rosen, she doesn't come back to the party. I turn around and suddenly catch a glimpse of Jessi and Sanjita. Jessi is awkwardly doing her ballet moves and trying not to fall over, I think she's been drinking too. Sanjita is literally on the floor with laughter. I don't know whether or not I should go over and talk to Jessi.

So instead I go and help myself to another drink. Suddenly, another drink turns into a bout 5 more and I'm feeling light headed and I'm finding it hard to focus my vision. It's even harder to walk on my heels and I don't know where any of my friends are.

I begin to panic and walk around quickly in search of them. I'm stopped suddenly and nearly fall to the floor. I look up, I've walked strait into Craig. How embarrassing! Luckily he doesn't seem angry at me. "Oh, I'm sorry." I tell him without being able to look at him. I feel my cheeks blushing again. " It's fine Mallory, you really look fantastic tonight, I hardly recognised you." He tells me with a smile. The next thing I know he's no where to be seen either.

I see Jessi again, now I'm really angry at her. How could she have done this to me? I'm going to tell her how I feel about her! I walk strait up to her and stop right in her face. "Hello Jessica." I greet her coldly staring into her shocked expression. "Mal?" She stammers, a little unsure, squinting her eyes as if to make sure it's really me. "I just wanted to tell you I couldn't give a stuff any more, so you can stop trying to avoid me. I don't need you Jessica Ramsey, I don't care if I ever see you again!" I don't realise the volume of my voice. A few people around us have stopped talking and turned to look at us, stunned. Jessi looks a little relieved but also a little upset. I grin at her and walk away. Except my feet give out under me and I fall to the ground.

Embarrassing. I can hear a loud, obnoxious laugh nearby, that could only belong to Sanjita. She's such an insensitive moron, Jessi deserves her. I see an outstretched hand in front of my face. I look up, it belongs to Mark O' Connell. I'd never spoken to him before. He's a friend of John Rosen and Craig Avazian. He pulls my upright and I'm too embarrassed to thank him. I run off back into the kitchen and help myself to a glass of water. I'm getting tired and I just want to go home.

Finally, I find Liz. She tells me she's ready to go and she couldn't care less if we leave Jamie here. We find Mara and Maria shortly after. The walk back home is longer than the way there. No one says much of anything at all.


	5. Chapter 5

5

When I come back home on Sunday morning, my whole family is definitely shocked to see how different I look, but all I can think about is my throbbing headache. Just how much did I drink at that party? My mother was a bit upset I didn't tell her about the changes I had planned to make and she kept pestering me with all sorts of questions about my new friends and Jessi.

I spent the day in my room attempting to catch up on homework and resting.. and hiding. No such luck with Vanessa sitting in our room all after noon.

"You got drunk last night… didn't you?" She accuses with a giggle. "Shut up Vanessa!" I snap.

I throw a pillow her direction without looking. It falls short of her and lands on the floor. I can't be bothered picking it up so I leave it. "Don't worry, I won't tell mom and dad.. maybe" She laughs and walks out, slamming the door much louder than necessary.

Monday morning English Class, I take my seat next to Liz. She looks awfully upset, I don't know if it's any of my business to ask what the matter is. Or would I be a bad friend if I didn't? I decide to wait until the end of class, she doesn't speak much except for polite, forced chit chat. I decide to work up the nerve to ask her. "Liz, are you ok? You can trust me if you want to tell me what's wrong!"

"It's that whore-face Jamie!" Liz hisses. "She _knew_ how much _I _liked John, yet she didn't even bother to respect that on Saturday night at all… She said she can't help it that he likes her better… Still doesn't make it ok for her to hurt me like that!" Liz looks like she's about to cry. I don't have any words of wisdom to offer on such a situation.

"I guess, sometimes our good friends just aren't the people we thought they were" I mutter, glancing over at Jessi who's striding down the hall in a hurry with her books. I can't believe she hasn't reacted to the situation on Saturday night at all. Nothing!

At our lunch table, Jamie sits on one end of the table, opposite me, eating her lunch without hardly saying a word. Liz sits on my side of the table, also not saying anything much. Mara and Maria are trying to liven up the conversation. The tension makes me so nervous I can hardly eat.

John Rosen approaches the table, before he can even say a word, Liz storms off from the table and outside somewhere. Mara and Maria chase after her. I'm simply dumbfounded by what just happened, I sit alone and silently still looking backwards and forwards between Jamie & John. " I wish she'd stop running off like that." John tells neither of us in particular. " I just have to explain the other night." "She won't listen to me for me to tell her either" Jamie sighs.

"Wait, hold on.. What the hell are you talking about!" I know it's none of my business, however my recent boldness has even surprised myself. "John and I both regret what happened at George Weiss's party. We were both drinking and made a mistake. Liz likes John and I should have respected that…" "And I really like Liz, so I wish I hadn't blown it like that.. No offence Jamie." John interrupts. "Let me guess? Now she want's nothing to do with either of you?" I throw in.

"Exactly.! Maybe, Mallory.. could you sorta try to talk to her.. for me?" Jamie seems genuinely sorry. I should try to help. "Ok, I'll try to speak to her in private later.. But I can't promise anything". I have no idea if Liz will believe them, or if she'll be angry at _me_ for believing them and then trying to convince her to do the same.

When I'm not nervous about speaking to Liz, the rest of my day I'm confidant and excited. My hair is still strait from the weekend and I'm even wearing make up on a school day. A lot of people have been staring at me, shocked as if they are unsure if it's really me or not.

I find Liz walking alone with her head downwards and arms crossed after school. "Wait up Liz!" I shout after her. She looks up, as if snapping out of another world and stops for me to catch up to her. She doesn't smile or say anything, she just lowers her head again and continues walking. I really don't know why I agreed to involve myself in this situation in the first place, it's none of my business after all.

"Liz, Jamie and John spoke to me after you left at lunch today." I tell her, casually trying to hide the nervousness in my voice. "I'm sorry Mallory, but I don't need to hear anything either of them had to say!" She says, not looking up from the concrete again.

"I really, really think you do want to hear what they said." I plead. "Fine..?" She stops walking and looks up at me with her hand on her hip. "Jamie and John said Saturday night was a huge mistake, which wouldn't have happened if they weren't drunk. Jamie said she knows how much you like him and she's so sorry."

Liz narrows her eyes and frowns sceptically at me. "Is that all they had to say for themselves?" She doesn't seem impressed. "John said he really, really likes you and if this mistake means he never has a chance with you, he will never forgive himself." Liz quickly begins walking again, face down and sniffling. I decide not to chase after her. "Don't take my word for it, Liz. I think you need to talk to them when you're ready." I call out behind her, then turn back and make my journey home in the opposite direction.


	6. Chapter 6

I arrive home and the overwhelming noise of the house, however normal is giving me a headache. I have the sudden urge to pull out my journal and just write and listen to music, but mom wants to chat. I avoided her all day on Sunday by hiding in my room.

"Who are these girls, Mallory? I know nothing about your new friends"

She seems genuinely interested.

"Liz Cohen, Mara Semple, Maria Fazio and Jamie Sperling." "Just some other girls in 10th grade mom."

I can't be bothered going into greater detail.

"Well, they certainly have made quite an impression on you Mallory, just look at you!"

Mom doesn't seem angry, infact she seems quite impressed, but I hint a bit of suspicion in her voice. I the next question is simply inevitable and one I can't even answer myself.

"What happened between you and Jessi? I don't understand why you two aren't hanging around together any more?"

I look away from mom's concerned face, I know if I look her in the eye. I'm embarrassed, mostly because I don't know the answer.

"I don't know mom, she just doesn't want anything to do with me since she got back from her trip."

Mom gives me a small sympathetic smile, she doesn't really know what to say herself.

To break the awkward silence I use my homework as an excuse and quietly slip upstairs. Vanessa isn't in our room, I don't even think she's here. I get my wish. Out comes my journal and my music complete with headphones. For just a little while I'll be completely alone in a house full of chaos.

"_Dear journal, So much has happened recently. I've lost a friend and gained four more. When I look in the mirror, I hardly recognise the reflection anymore. I'm a lot happier with how I look, but god I still wish something could be done about my nose!"_

Unfortunately, that is as far as I get with my writing. Vanessa rushes into the room, slamming the door behind her, making me jump.

"Don't slam the door! You nearly gave me a heart attack!" I snap at her.

"Sorry!" She retorts angrily. I can tell she isn't. I roll my eyes and take out the book I'm reading for English. "_The Catcher in the Rye_."

Vanessa keeps sighing angrily and pacing the floor. I can tell she wants to tell me what her problem is and I'm not going to get any peace until she does, may as well just ask.

"What's wrong Vanessa?"

I ask sincerely, lying my book down on the bed open on the pages I'm up to.

"Margo, she keeps borrowing all my clothes without asking me!"

"Well, you know that there isn't always exactly money for new clothes most of the time.."

Vanessa cuts me off, not prepared to listen to what I have to say.

"She got a hole in one of my favourite shirts!" She shrieks.

I feel sorry for her but I can't be bothered sorting out every sibling argument in this household all the time anymore.

"Go tell mom" I urge exasperated.

"Yeah, I knew _you _wouldn't understand Mallory!" She snaps and slams the door behind her before I get a chance to ask her what she meant. Sharing clothes hasn't been anything unusual for the girls in this family. Being the oldest had it's advantage in that I never had to wear the hand me downs, I just passed them along maybe that's what Vanessa meant. But now Vanessa is 13, she doesn't like to share and Margo never asks before she borrows or returns anything in its original condition.

Once Vanessa is out of the room I stand up and look in the mirror. I touch the roots of my hair, they're becoming oily and I know I need to wash my hair. I'm frustrated as this will mean bye-bye sleek and smooth and hello curls and frizz again. It didn't occur to me at first that parts of this makeover would only be temporary.

I'm still staring at my reflection when Nicky bangs on the door screaming that I have a phone call. "Who is it?" I shout from behind the closed door, but he's already gone. I tear down the stairs and pick up the phone.

"Hello?" I answer, I have no idea who could be calling.

"Mallory?" "Liz?" I assume from the voice it's her.

"Yes.. It's me. I wanted to talk more about this afternoon, I've thought about what you said a lot more."

"What do you think?" I feel like such an intruder in the whole situation. I don't even know if I should've asked that sort of question.

"I want to believe them, I just don't understand.. Why would she tell me it's bad luck that he wanted her instead of me at the party if they're so sure it will all a mistake?"

It was a good question, and one I didn't know myself. But Jamie had asked me to help, so adding my own version of the truth to complete the story couldn't hurt, could it?

"Well, Jamie said she was just angry at you that night and she was still drunk, she never meant a thing, I swear!"

"Hmm, thanks Mallory, I'll need to think about it some more. Thanks so much for your advice though."

"Anytime.. Hey, Liz? Can I ask you for some advice in return now?" I felt like such an idiot but I wasn't going to school with a bad hair day ever again.

"Anything at all Mal?" She replies

" Well, I need to wash my hair.. How do I stop it being all frizzy this time? I don't have a straightener!"

Liz giggles. "Go get yourself some hair mousse! Just put heaps in when your hair is still wet, then some more once it's dry, trust me." Hair mousse! Of course, Stacey uses it sometimes and her hair always looks perfect.

"Thanks heaps Liz!" I quickly get off the phone and run out of the house, over to the McGills.

I knock on the door, "I'll be right out!" Stacey's voice shouts from the distance.

"Oh god! Mallory?" She shrieks. "You look Amazing!"

She looks me up and down. Stacey is the one that looks amazing. She's wearing brown leather mid calf boots, a knee length jean skirt and a baby pink short sleeved top that falls from her shoulders. Her hair is sits in long, perfect ringlets and her make up is soft and natural.

"What can I do for you Mallory?" She offers, gesturing me inside with her hand.

"Well, I need to know all about hair mousses" I reply quietly, I feel a little embarrassed asking for advice on girly stuff like this. I feel as though I should already know it.

"Oh?" Stacey looks at my hair carefully. "Well it would make your curls look fabulous, but I'm loving your hair strait Mal! Who did all this for you?"

I briefly explain my new friends and their make over. Stacey shows excitement for me, but shows genuine sadness when I explain what happened with Jessi.

"That's an awful shame Mal, but look at you now, you're doing just fine without her."

Seeing the sadness in my eyes, Stacey quickly changes the subject. "Come on Mal, let's go to the Mall.. I'll help you pick out a hair mousse!"

I manage a smile. I've missed spending time with Stacey. We jump into her car and she turns up the radio, humming loudly to the song that's playing. We arrive at the mall and walk into a hair care shop.

"I swear by this one!" She tells me, picking up a shiny green bottle of mousse. "You could do with this too!" She hands me a small tub of clear hair gel, "ohh, this too!"

She now hands me a can of hairspray. "Are you sure I need all of this Stacey?" I ask unsurely. It seems like a lot of stuff to put onto my hair. "Of course, it will make your hair really hot, I promise!" I smile back at her and take the items back to the register.

We look around at some clothes, there's this excellent white sun dress that I'd love, but could never afford. A girl can dream though, right? We sit and have a coffee, Stacey orders a cup or tea and then we return home. We both have way too much homework to do and not enough time to do it.

"Thank you so much Stacey!" I tell her when she stops outside my house.

"It's perfectly fine Mal. I'll see you around at school and stuff, if you ever need a ride and I haven't left yet, you know where to find me."

And with that, she was gone.


	7. Chapter 7

The next morning I wake up before the alarm. I manage to wake up before everyone else to jump into the shower. I shiver standing naked on the cold, hard tiles waiting for the water in the shower to heat up. Once it's nice and warm I jump in and wet my newly browned hair from root to tip, it feels heavy on my shoulders. I begin lathering up the shampoo and wash the straightness away.

Once I'm finished in the shower, I tip my wet curls upside down and cover them in a towel, twist it around my hair and begin to dry it off. I dry off my body and put on the clothes I've chosen for the day which I left sitting on the bathroom floor, a fitted red T-shirt and a short grey and black plaid skirt with black slip on shoes. I take Stacey's advice for my hair, while it's still damp I put some mousse into my hands and rub it all the way through my hair. I then add some gel and spray my hairspray all over. My hair sits in nice, thick curls rather than a big frizzy mess.

I put on a small amount of lip gloss and smile at the reflection in the mirror. My new morning routine takes a lot longer than it used to, but the end result is well worth the time. When I walk back into our bedroom to collect my school books, Vanessa is still dressing herself, muttering angrily to herself as she goes. It looks like it's her turn to have slept in. I smile at her as I grab my books and bag and walk back out of the room.

Jordan and Adam are down stairs having cereal for breakfast. Claire is standing expectedly by the toaster.

"Where's Byron?" I ask Adam.

"Still in the bathroom, spiking his hair." He tells me without looking up from his bowl. I roll my eyes and grab a banana out of the fruit bowl. My brothers can take longer than my mom or sisters in the bathroom some mornings. I pour myself a small glass of milk and sit down at the table with my banana. I don't feel like eating much else.

Before I know it, mom has dropped the triplets and I off to school.

I'm sitting down at my desk for Monday morning, English class, right next to Liz. She smiles at me then looks back down at her open book. "I called Jamie after I got off the phone to you." She announces without looking up from her novel.

"Are you guys friends again?" I enquire eagerly . "I suppose so, It's going to take a lot of time to trust her again, fully, you know?" Liz smiles at me and I guess it's her way of thanking me again for whatever involvement I had.

At lunch time, Jamie and Liz are speaking, but things are still awkward. Jamie is trying her hardest to suck up to Liz, it's sickly sweet. Mara and Maria ignore them and carry on their own conversation about their science project or something equally exciting.

After lunch, I'm walking alone to class. I pass Stacey in the hall, she's with Mary Anne another old baby sitting friend. Stacey stops and gives me the thumbs up. "Loving the hair, told you didn't I?" She grins and keeps walking. Mary Anne stops and turns back around. "Oh Mallory, it's you!" She gasps and the two walk off.

Another person that didn't even recognise me?

The way I looked before, being unrecognisable was still a huge compliment. The confidence boost it was giving me must have been working. Out the corner of my eye I see Craig Avazian walking faster to catch up to me.

"Hey Mallory" He greets me with a smile. I can feel myself starting to blush.

"Oh hey.." I reply, trying not to make eye contact. Why does he make me so nervous? Is it his smile? Or his eyes. I still can't decide. Maybe it's both all at once.

I'm too nervous to think of anything else to say. Luckily, I don't have to. Craig quickly excuses himself and walks off in the other direction.

I'm grinning as I walk into my science class. I don't even like science.

Jamie is in my science class. We sit together in the middle of the class room. Our teacher, Mrs Hayes is very strict, so we don't get a chance to chat. About half an hour into class, while we're taking notes off the board, Jamie slips me a small folded piece of paper. I discreetly unfold it, and take a peek. It says:

"Thanks for talking to Liz, there's a gathering on Friday night at Lauren Aronsen's. You should come."

Another party? So soon after the last one. Was I up for it? I wasn't too sure, but on the other hand I didn't want to miss out. I guess I could just go for a little while, even though I don't know if my parents would like me going.

I turn to face Jamie on my left. I shoot her a quick grin and turn back to my work. Now, I couldn't concentrate quite as well as I had before. I began thinking about what I'd wear this time. I stop myself mid thought. I don't think I'd ever worried about what I was going to where before it was time to dress myself in the actual outfit in question before. I'd just put on whatever felt appropriate at the time.

But that was the old Mallory, and she's no longer who I am.


	8. Chapter 8

After school on Wednesday, we all go to Mara's house after school. Jamie stands in front of the full length mirror on Mara's wardrobe door, raking her fingers through her wavy curls. She turns and looks at me thoughtfully.

"Come here Mal". She gestures me towards her with her left hand, her right still in her hair.

I walk over to her, standing next to her. Both of us are looking at the reflections in the mirror. I am quite a few inches shorter than Jamie, even now she's kicked off her heeled shoes.

"I think.." she began, lifting up my hair to just past my shoulders. "I think your hair would look great this length."

I'd never thought about cutting my hair. It wasn't that long, about midway between shoulder length and elbow length and when it was straight it was far longer with all the curls stretched out.

"It would be so much easier to take care of, straight or curly." She continues.

"Hmm, I'd never considered cutting my hair before. I don't know…" I reply uneasily.

"Right, it's your life hey.." She turns away and snickers.

"What's so funny about not wanting to cut my hair?" I retort defensively.

"Well, we're just trying to help you Mallory.. You really have shocking split ends!" Liz blurts out. It's such a tactless remark. I'm shocked and a little offended. None of my old friends would have pointed out my split ends.

I don't want the girls to see they've upset me. Maybe I should cut off my split ends. Because now, I was beginning to feel self conscious of them. Even though I didn't even really know what they are. "Maybe I'll do it tomorrow night, so it will be done in time for Lauren's party." I turn and smile meekly at the other girls.

"I'm going to the mall tomorrow night, my mom could drive you too and then you can get it cut then." Maria offers.

"Thanks, that'd be nice." I reply.

"You are so lucky you have us Mallory!" Mara declares. "I'm glad you _finally_ got on with your life away from Jessica Ramsey!" she continues and rolls her eyes.

"She thinks that anyone who doesn't like her is just racist. It's _so _pathetic." She adds with a laugh. I giggle along. I know she's right but part of me still feels defensive when it comes to Jessi.

I leave with an uneasy feeling in my stomach. Sometimes my new friends weren't that kind. But they were trying to be helpful I guess. And I needed all the help I could get.

After school Thursday afternoon, Maria meets me at my locker. "Ready?" She greets me. With a grin.

"Yeah, let's go." I force a smile and we walk out to the car park.

Mrs Fazio drives a shiny red Mazda Miata. It's not brand new, but in great condition. Maria jumps into the front seat, and I climb into the back. She looks a lot like Maria, only her hair is shorter and a much warmer shade of brown.

"Hello Mrs Fazio!" I greet her.

She glances at me from the rear – view mirror. "Amelia is fine dear. You must be Mallory?" she asks.

"Yes, I'm Mallory Pike. Thank-you for driving me to the mall." She smiles at me and starts the engine.

Maria argues with her mother about a skirt she wants most of the way. Mrs Fazio tells her she can't afford it and Maria tells her she knows that's a lie. They talk like I'm not even there, so I sit in silence, staring out the window as we drive through Stoneybrook.

When we arrive at the Mall, Mrs Fazio tells us she has her own things to do and she will meet us at these entrance doors in 2 hours. Maria takes me strait to the store which has the skirt she's not aloud to buy. It's an extremely short black leather skirt. I'm not surprised Mrs Fazio won't let her buy it.

Next, we walk into the hair salon. A short Asian woman with a bob haircut with loud blue streaks through at smiles at me and tells me to take a seat. She reminds me of another old friend, Claudia. She'd do something outrageous like that with her hair.

After about 5 minutes she gestures to me to sit in the vacant chair. She puts the sheet over me.

"Now, how would you like it?" She asks.

"To about here." I instruct, with my finger sitting just past my shoulders.

"Not a problem." She smiles and gets to work, she sprays my hair with water. The cool drops make me squint when they hit my face.

"Have you considered bangs?" She offers after about 5 minutes.

"Well, no I haven't." I reply truthfully. I wonder what I'd look like with bangs.

"I think they'd suit you great!" She tells me, as if reading my mind.

"Ok, why not, you can cut me some." I was scared, but maybe it would look fantastic. She brushes some hair from the front of my face over my eyes. I shut them while she snips away.

Finally, she announces she's all done. I open my eyes and take a look in the mirror. My bangs look good. They sit on the line of my eye brow. The rest of my hair doesn't even look much different. It's just shorter. I look down at the floor at all my hair, there's so much of it!

The hair dresser sees my shock.

"Your hair is really thick!" She laughs and I walk to the front and pay.

Maria is waiting for me out the front. "It looks great!" She assures me.

We take a look around a few more stores as we still have a while before we're due to meet Mrs Fazio.

"I don't know what I should wear tomorrow night." I announce to Maria while we're in one of the stores. I know I can't afford anymore clothes and what I have isn't great. I tell Maria this, even though I'm quite embarrassed.

"I know what will be perfect. I'll lend you some clothes, ok?" She offers and rests her hand on my shoulder reassuringly.

"You know, Craig Avazian asked me today if you're coming to Lauren's party." Maria informs me, elbowing my gently in the ribs and winks. I can't help but turn bright red.

"Oh my gosh!" You like him don't you! She shrieks. I don't say anything, I just look down at my shoes embarrassed and continue walking.

Still, it was the best news I'd had all day. He was interested to know if _I _was going to the party!


	9. Chapter 9

Friday morning I was collecting my books out of my locker for my literature class when I was interrupted by a tap on the shoulder. I spun around in surprise to face Maria. She was smiling widely holding up a shopping bag.

I wondered what was inside, she hadn't told me yesterday at the mall what she was planning on bringing for me, she just said it was 'perfect'.

"So, what's inside?" I ask.

"Open it up and take a look!" She orders.

I take the shopping bag out of her hand and look inside, I can't see too well so I take the item on top out. It's a red boob tube with white polka dots. I'd never imagined myself wearing anything like it. Next, I pulled out a pair of faded frayed edged jean shorts.

I could picture the outfit looking fantastic on Maria, I didn't know how the clothes would look on me.

"You can wear the new red heels you got the other week! They match the top perfectly." She suggests.

I smile at her. "Thank-you". I say as the bell rings and she walks to her own locker with a wave. I shove the clothes back into the shopping bag and into my locker and make my way to my class.

I try my best to concentrate, literature is one of my best subjects at school. I can't think straight though, I'm anxious about tonight. Lauren Aronsen was one of Jessi and Sanjita's friends, so it was more than likely I would have to see them again tonight.

I practically run home after school, I'm excited about tonight. I tell my mother I'm just visiting Liz's place. Before now, I haven't really been at any parties and don't know how she'd react if she knew I was now.

At 6.30, I leave for Liz's, she asked if I wanted to get ready at her place.

we begin to get ready immediately. I've finished my hair and make up. I wear my hair up and half down, I put the mousse and gel in again and wear my bangs to the side. Next, I put on the clothes I borrowed, I feel terribly exposed in the denim shorts my white legs stand out a mile away, the fake tan we put on the other week has faded away and I'm back to blinding white. I slip into the red heels I bought the other week and then my look is complete.

I wait in Liz's bedroom while she gets ready in her bathroom, only her mother is at home. Her room is quite big and cluttered. There are many photos on her dresser of her and the other girls, as well as photos of herself as a child.

Liz wears her hair in a very high pony tail, she's wearing a pale pink top which sits off one shoulder and a pair of black jeans. The lipgloss she's wearing is a perfect match for her top.

She throws open the bedroom door and informs me "We look FABULOUS!" I smile and we walk out into the living room as she gestures her arm outside the bedroom door.

Liz's mother is sitting on the white leather sofa watching a soap opera intently. In one hand she holds a glass of wine, and in the other a cigarette. She looks a bit like Liz, only older. Still, she doesn't look very old, only in her early 30's. She wears far too much makeup, a line on the side of her cheek shows the end of her foundation and her bright crimson lipstick is smudged outside her lip line.

She doesn't turn around when we enter the room.

"We'll be late." Liz informs her dryly and heads to the front door. I stand frozen in place in astonishment that Liz doesn't tell her mother exactly where it is we are going and exactly when we are coming back.

Her mother does not turn her attention from the television. "Good, go." She eventually replies monotonously with a wave of her hand and a roll of her eyes.

She does not even acknowledge my presence.

Lauren Aronsen lives not too far away. The house is filled with extremely loud music and lots of people, many I recognise from school. The other girls are all sitting on a sofa sipping drinks.

"This party is _lame_!" Jamie informs me. "Aren't they _your_ clothes Maria?" Mara asks Maria with a wrinkled nose pointing at my outfit.

"Yes! I think Mallory looks great." She answers and then walks off to get more drinks.

"I don't think those legs remember the last time they saw the sun!" She retorts with a nasty giggle.

Something about Mara Semple makes me uneasy. It's the same feeling I had gotten when she made fun of Jessi when we were at her house.

All I can think about now is my pale legs. They'd worried me when I first put the shorts on and now I felt like everyone in the room was looking at them.

Maria returns with numerous bottles of beer. She hands one out to me, I wrinkle up my nose. I've never tried beer.

"You'll love it!" She informs me with a pat on the back. I take a swig and realize it doesn't taste too awful. We sit and chat for some time, I finish my beer and Maria hands me another. I become more acquired to the taste and I drink another 2 bottles.

Sometime after, I place the bottle down on the glass coffee table. I grin softly at my friends uncomfortably after I realise they haven't said anything in a little while. They aren't facing me anymore, they're looking over to the right. I see what they're looking at now, Craig is standing off to the side with one elbow resting on the wall. He's chatting to John Rosen and sipping a beer just like mine. I feel my face turn red and my heart pound faster just at the sight of him. My stomach feels as though it's doing back flips.

He catches my eye and I quickly look away and pretend I hadn't been staring at him. It's too late, he realises I was. My heart and my breathing both feel like they stop, just for a moment.

I look up and he's standing over me. The girls are long gone and no longer on the couch with me. I feel like all he can see are my white pasty legs in these far too short shorts.

If he does notice, he obviously doesn't care. He grins and then takes the seat beside me and inches himself closer towards me. I don't know what I'm going to say, I feel like I've lost the power to speak.

"So, you're all alone?" He asks.

"Looks that way." Is all I manage to quickly blurt out after I discover I still have control over my voice.

"That's a damn waste, and a damn shame". He informs me and puts one arm around my shoulder.

There goes the ability to speak again, so instead I just grin sheepishly and giggle like a schoolgirl. That's exactly what I am, a silly school girl. I never thought I'd become a giggling speechless mess because of a boy.

I had friends like Stacey who were "Boy crazy" and I'd never understood them until now. Even though we're sitting so closely together, the space feels like it's widening due to my lack of thinking of anything relevant or clever to say.

Luckily (or unluckily) enough, Lauren rushes past me with a glass in her hand and miraculously manages to drop it at my feet. It shatters all over the floor boards directly under my feet. It breaks the silence. I squeal from the shock of how close it came to cutting up my legs.

All she manages to do is stand there, in shock at what she has done. Craig looks angrily at Lauren and she bursts into tears.

"That was one of my mom's most expensive glasses, I'm _dead_!" she wails, apparently not noticing she nearly sliced me open.

Craig helps me to my feet and makes sure I'm ok. A smile comes back across his face.

"Do you want to get away from all of this for a little while? I hear the Aronsen's have a great view from the upstairs." Before I can even answer, he's pulling me up the stairs by the hand.


	10. Chapter 10

As we walk up the stairs, I think to myself what could be so fantastic about the view from the upstairs of Lauren's house? Craig pushes open a door, it leads to Lauren's parent's bedroom.

"Won't we get in trouble for being in here?"

I ask nervously. Lauren's parents were not at home and I doubted they would appreciate guests in their room.

"Don't worry, no one even has to know we're here." Craig assures me.

He shuts the bedroom door and walks over to me. He places both hands on my waist and kisses me, softly I close my eyes and go with it.

He pushes me backwards, onto the bed and he lies on top of me. I become more nervous about the whole situation. Something feels really wrong. I pull my face away from his.

"Mara was right. I knew you'd be up for this." He tells me excitedly and pulls my face back towards his own and kisses me again, I feel his hand creeping up inside my top and his other reaching down to his jeans.

I am not ready for this, what does he mean he knew I'd be up for this? I had never done anything like this in my life.

I try to sit up and push him off me. "No, I'm not up for this." I whisper.

"Sure you are, just relax." He tells me, a hint of annoyance in his voice.

"no.. I'm really not, lets just go back downstairs, please?" I tell him, louder this time as I'm growing more fearful by the second.

"I told you to just relax!" this time he shouts at me, angrily and pushes me back down onto the hard mattress.

Something inside me snaps, I start to scream, as loud as I can. I doubt anyone can hear my over the music downstairs. Craig jumps off me as the door opens.

It's Lauren. She stands at the door completely stunned, mouth wide open holding open the door with one hand on the handle still. I quickly run, out of the bedroom and down the stairs, back into the middle of the party. My heart is still pounding and I feel sick to my stomach.

I run past Jessi and Sanjita, I run past so many familiar faces who are staring at me, as if I'm crazy, running through the house like some sort of freak. Unfortunately, I can't run terribly well on these horrible high heels. Suddenly, I'm running no longer. I've ran right into someone. I haven't seen whose face the body I've ran into belongs until he puts both hands on my shoulders and looks me strait in the face.

"Mallory? What are you doing?" It's Ben. Ben Hobart my sort-of boyfriend from 6th grade. We haven't really spoken since I returned from boarding school. He doesn't look quite the same, but I still recognise that accent.

"I.. I have to get out of here, right now!" I tell him, my voice shaking. And with that, I'm crying. He takes me in his arms and just holds me. He doesn't make me nervous or scared. I feel safe even though I'm still frightened.

"Let me take you home, and you can tell me what happened?" He gestures towards the front door and we leave. Lauren lives on Locust Ave. We walk to the end of the street and left onto Burnt Hill Road. My house is not too much further away.

I shiver in the cold night air without a jacket. I'm so embarrassed but great full to Ben all the same.

"Well, you're certainly not the Mallory Pike I remember." Ben announces after a few minutes of nothing but silence.

I can't think of anything to say to that, so I just give him a weak smile. A little while ago, I would have taken that as nothing but a compliment. But after tonight and the way he says it, maybe it's not such a great thing after all.

"Do you want to tell me what happened to you in there?" He asks when we arrive at my driveway.

"Well, it all happened pretty quickly, I don't really know. One minute Craig and I were talking downstairs, then he insisted I take a look at the view upstairs. Next thing I know I'm in the Aronsen's main bedroom pushing him off of me. He wouldn't listen when I said no. He said Mara said I'd be 'up for it.' " "I don't know why she'd say that" I added.

Ben just stares at me with a very serious look on his face.

"I'd never ever do that". Is all he manages to reply.

Suddenly, I realize he's right. I realize how much I've missed him too.

"I know that." I tell him. I can't help it. I turn towards him and kiss him. I realize that I'm probably just confused and pull away.

"I'm sorry." I say. I'm not even sure that I am. I'm just confused.

"Don't be." He assures me, and this time, he kisses me. This time, it just feels right. The feeling of butterflies in my stomach that I felt earlier returns.

"Do you want to come inside, and just talk?" I ask him. I've missed talking to Ben a lot.

"Not tonight Mal, but soon." He assures me. He kisses me on the cheek, and with that he walks off home.

When I walk inside, I realize that it's 1 am. Every light in the house is off, so I throw my shoes inside the front door along with about 6 other pairs of shoes that belong to various members of my family.

I race up the stairs and into the bedroom, even though a lamp is on, Vanessa is asleep, sitting up with a book on her lap. I think to myself about how much she reminds me of my former self. Curled up in bed with a book instead of out at all hours of the morning, drinking alcohol and getting into scary situations with boys she hardly knows.

That's when the tears well up again. Something just doesn't feel right. About everything. About Mara Semple and all her nasty remarks, about the falling out with Jessi.

I resolve to get to the bottom of it all and figure out what went wrong. I throw Maria's clothes onto the floor. I never want to see them again. I run into the bathroom in my underwear, knowing that 1 am is one of the rare occasions I can do that without being seen.

I wash myself clean, it doesn't wash away everything that's happened tonight, but it's a start.

I run back to my bedroom in my towel. I slip into a comfortable sweater and track pants and hop into my bed. I pull out my diary from under the mattress and begin writing.

"_I don't know where things started to go wrong, I thought I was changing for the better. I never considered these repercussions. Maybe I deserved this.. Maybe Mara Semple just thought she was trying to help? Maybe she truly is nasty and evil…"_

Either way, I will find out.

In the morning, I am awoken by Vanessa's giggling. I open my heavy eyes to see her holding up the top I wore last night.

"Did you seriously wear this Mallory?" She giggles.

"Yes Vanessa!" I snap.

"Really? You?" She laughs some more.

"Yes! Really! Now put it away I don't want to see it!" I snap again and roll back over. I stare at the digital bedside clock. It reads 9.05 am. I feel like I've only had an hours sleep if any at all.

"You'd better get a move on if you want breakfast Mal." Vanessa tells me.

"I'm not hungry." I lie. Truthfully, I just want to hide away in my bed until Monday morning.

"Well, if you don't come down, mom and dad will wonder why not." She replies cooly. I know she's right, so within seconds I'm following her downstairs into the kitchen.

Everyone is at the table when we arrive. Eating an assortment of bacon, eggs and toast.

"That must have been some study session." Mom says as soon as she catches my eye.

I cannot look her in the eye. "Um, yeah.. It was."

"I mean, to be there until 1 am without even a phone call? It must have been." She answers sceptically.

Before I can think of a response, she interrupts me " You know, Liz Cohen rang here at 8 am, asking where you had gotten to last night. I could have sworn you told me you were at her place. Where were you really last night Mallory Pike?" she demands. And this time I know there is no escaping the truth.


	11. Chapter 11

Mom doesn't make me explain in front of the whole family at the breakfast table. She waits until we have finished and takes me into the living room to talk alone. It's Nicky and Margo's turn to clean up after breakfast. Mom stares at me with a questioning expression. She's waiting to hear me out before she gets mad.

"How did you know what time I got home?" I ask her, astounded that she knew exactly what time.

"You weren't exactly as quiet as I'm guessing you had hoped." She answers with a sigh.

"So, where were you?" She continues.

She does not snap at me, she just sounds defeated and exhausted the way she does these days when one of us has done something wrong.

"At a party." I respond meekly, not looking at her.

Sometimes I think I'd prefer she yell and make a fuss. Seeing her look of defeat and exhaustion just adds to further guilt for doing the wrong thing. Mom and Dad have had to deal with 8 children for many years, that's no easy feat.

"Why did you think you had to lie to us about that?" She folds her arms and shakes her head at me, I can see the disappointment in her eyes.

"Because I knew you'd get upset with me for going to the party." I feel myself becoming defensive even though I know I have done the wrong thing.

"I'm upset with you for lying to me Mallory, not for going to a damned party! If you had of told me where you were going, it would not have been a problem, at least you wouldn't be being deceitful."

Mom looks as though she's going to cry, I feel even worse. I know she's right I can't think of anything to say to that so I just allow her to continue.

"You never would have done something this thoughtless before, not before you made friends with these girls. I think you should have a good hard think about whether these girls are such a good influence on you." Mom leaves me to absorb her words. She walks out of the living room, leaving me to sit alone with my guilt.

I spend most of Saturday and Sunday cooped up in my room feeling a tiny bit sorry for myself. Even if I did lie to my mom, I didn't deserve what happened last night. No body does.

And if I find out Mara Semple and her big lying mouth at fault, that's going to hurt even more.

I don't know how to confront her or how to find out. I don't want to confront her, I may lose all of them as friends. Without Jessi, I'd have no one if these girls change their minds about me.

As much as I want to avoid it, Monday morning comes around quicker than I'd hoped. I'd have to face everyone. I consider faking sick, but know Mom will see right through it.

Instead, I pull on a pair of old jeans and a purple t shirt that's the same as the red fitted one I wore last week. I don't bother with any make up and just throw my hair into a high pony tail. I don't care how I look today, it just doesn't seem important.

I shove Maria's clothes into my school bag and run down the stairs. I decide not to take a ride with Mom and my brothers this morning, I take a chance and see if Stacey has left yet. I just feel like I need the comfort of an old friend at the moment.

I'm in luck. Just as I walk around into her driveway, she's only just throwing her school bag into the back seat. "Wait up Stace!" I call out and run over to the car.

"Jump in." she offers. And with that, we're off.

"Did you go to Lauren Aronsen's on the weekend?" she asks casually.

"Yes." I reply a little snappishly. I'm already worried about what people have heard.

"Oh, I heard the police showed up around 1.30 in the morning, I was just wondering if you saw it that's all." Stacey ignores my snappish tone.

"I left at 1. I must of missed it, one redeeming factor of the night." I remark sarcastically.

"Not a good night then?" Stacey jokes.

"The less said of it, the better!" I shake my head and turn my head to look out the window. By that stage, she's pulled into the parking lot. We climb out and exchange a quick good-bye. Stacey spies Mary Anne and Claudia waiting for her and quickly runs over to them. I'm alone again.

My first class, as usual is English. With Liz, and even worse, Craig. He sits next to George Weiss. George Weiss gives Craig a high five when I walk in and take my seat in front of them next to Liz. I have no idea why.

"Where did you get to last night?" Liz hisses.

"I went home, Ben Hobart walked me." I tell her matter of factly, without looking at her.

"Well, the cops came and you were no where to be found when we all bailed out. I thought you were coming back to my place." She's annoyed, and she has some right to be, I suppose but she doesn't know what happened and I don't think I want her to.

"I had to get out of there, I went home. Thanks for dobbing me in to my parents!" I snap and open my notes and begin copying off the black board as we've been instructed.

"I was actually worried, ok? For god sakes Mallory." Liz rolls her eyes at me and decides to pull out her notes too.

"So why'd you have to leave all of a sudden? I heard you and Craig were having a great time, yet you left with Ben Hobart?" She quizzes me after about 10 minutes of silence.

"What are you talking about, what have you heard?" I ask, shocked.

"Craig's been telling everyone about you guys getting it on in Lauren's mom and dad's room. Lauren's backing him up, she walked in on you guys, remember?"

I cannot believe he is telling people lies about what happened! Everyone is going to think the worst of me. How can he do this?

"You're kidding! That's not what happened at all, I swear Liz." I am in such a state of disbelief I end up shouting it loud enough for the whole class to over hear. Mrs Simmonds our teacher, is not impressed. She stares at me with both hands on her hips and most of the class is staring at me, some are laughing.

"Are you quite finished Ms Pike?" Mrs Simmonds asks me in a monotonous voice. "Or would you like to tell us what really happened, whatever it was?" She continues dryly with her eyebrows raised.

"I'm done, for now." I reply shooting Craig an icy glare. He just rolls his eyes and he and George laugh again.

During my next class, I can hardly even concentrate. I'm filled with anger and confusion I plot exactly how I'm going to find out why Mara said what she said, and how to get back at her. When the bell rings for the start of lunch time, I actually dread it. I don't want to see Mara Semple, but I decide that it's best to pretend nothing is wrong and figure her out cautiously.

I collect my lunch at the Cafeteria and take my normal place beside Jamie at our lunch table.

"Afternoon girls." I greet them as if nothing is wrong with a fake smile.

"Oh hey Mallory. Gee, you really missed out with the cops showing up at Lauren's on Friday night.. But I guess you were too busy to notice anyway." Mara replies with a strange laugh.

"Good news sure does travel fast, I see." I reply sarcastically with a roll of my eyes.

"Why the sarcasm? From what I heard–" Mara needs to learn to mind her own business, I cut her off mid sentence.

"Well, you heard wrong. And you _told _wrong." I snap. So much for going about it cautiously, I hadn't expected her to be so smug about the whole thing, it just pushed me to come right out and say it.

"What the hell are you talking about?" I can't believe she's going to play dumb now.

"Thanks to you're misinformation to Craig Avazian, I got into quite a situation on Friday night. How can you go around telling him things like that about me?"

"Hey, you _should_ be thankful, you needed all the help you could get. You always have!" Mara's words are cruel and spiteful. How can she say I should thank her? She should be apologising to me!

"It's not all my fault Mallory, how about those dreadful shorts and that top that left so little to the imagination you wore? Face it, you bought most of it upon yourself!"

I cannot stand to hear any more of her hurtful words. I get up and run, just like Friday night. I run away like a scared child from uncomfortable situations.


End file.
